we have officially lost it.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
