i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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