Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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