I love black thongs
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
