ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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