im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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