I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
