What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
