so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
