i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
