can u get pink eye on your cock?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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