I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
