She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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