I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize