I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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