Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
