brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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