Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
