The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
