I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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