not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
