So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
