If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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