I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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