R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
