We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
