Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
