I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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