am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
