apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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