he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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