I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
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