Kiss
Puke
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize