dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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