hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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