I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
