would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
