oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
