The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
