OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
