No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
