that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
