bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
