no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
