My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize