She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I FOUND THE LEGS
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
