Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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