thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
