i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
