K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
