yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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