She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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