Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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