I look better un-naked...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
