she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
