he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
