I'm so fucking centered right now
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
