i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
