If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Someone shattered a urinal.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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