i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
