Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
