Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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