Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
