i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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