I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
