Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
